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Happy Post Valentine’s Day!

February 15, 2011 3 comments

I can’t help but notice that sometimes people feel bad about themselves for not being able to share Valentine’s Day with someone. Fear not, my low-self-esteemed chum! For your edification, and so that you can feel better about yourself on a comparative basis as a human being, I am here to offer the next best thing: my thoughts. “But Sarah, I don’t care about your thoughts.” Ooo YOU’RE LUCKY I HAVE NO HEART.

For the singles
If it’s any consolation, I love you. Granted not like that, but still. If V-day doesn’t work out for you.. redefine social attitudes towards Valentine’s Day instead. Next year if you’re in the same position, try celebrating a “Happy Half-Way Through Black History Month” day!

For the casual stalkers
For the past few months you’ve been arranging “coincidental” encounters with that special someone during class, during work, and a dozen other places. Yet even on V-day you still didn’t get so much a glance. Find a new hobby or consider falling for someone who likes you back?

Enter the glow in the dark flower


For the serious stalkers
Ok face it, right from the start you knew the casual encounters would never have worked. Hell, if you’ve gone this far I don’t suppose you have plans on giving up now. In which case, you’ve got to step your game up. If you mean business, giving crappy red roses simply won’t do.

All you have to do is pour some highlighter fluid in water, cut the stems, and let ’em soak that shit up. BOOM — space flowers! Then make some glow-flowers for your lady and tell her you picked them on the moon. Win!

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Categories: Holidays Tags:

Happy Mother’s Day!

May 10, 2010 2 comments

Yesterday was my mother’s birthday. It also happened to be Mother’s Day!

So HAPPY HAPPY birthday and mother’s day!! I was out with the family yesterday so didn’t have time to make a post. Thanks for everything mom!

Warning: Previous post isn’t as pleasant.

May the 4th be with you

Salutations! guess what day it is?! It’s Star Wars Day! It’s not an official holiday, just some clever nerds remodeled the catch phrase “May the Force Be With You!” to “May the Fourth Be With You!” Now would be a good time to whip out my light-sabre and break out in battle.

It’s been a couple weeks since I last posted, but I haven’t quit you yet, blog! What can I say, I have one of those things called a life. Unfortunately I’ve been spending most of it on one of those things called a job -which, by the way, I’ve exceeded my sales revenue goal of 2500, sitting in first place at my branch with 22000. So go Me!

Enough about work. So the world never ceases to amaze me. Sometimes it is blue, then it’s red, and when I’m tired it is black. When I’m awake things are odd and when I’m asleep they are even more odd. Greed and the act of scamming others for your own benefit is something I can’t even begin to comprehend. If you’re going to move forward in life, pushing others back isn’t the only way to do so. If you’re going to race, run faster. Cheating is for the weak. But people do it anyway.

I also don’t understand why people are so quick to act on their emotions when there is a misunderstanding. To avoid unnecessary tension between conflicting beliefs, people should be open to alternative, negotiable ways to convey our beliefs as well as being open to different values/perspectives. Not only is it peaceful, it’s also a learning opportunity.

-But nope! Because if one side is ignorant enough to only see one view and strongly claim its validity, you can sure as hell speculate they may resort to measures equivalent to their level of ignorance and hostility to present that belief. That’s when one should realize when to just end the discussion. After all, if you argue with a fool, the spectators won’t be able to tell the difference.

Luckily there are some things I do understand. I understand Calvin and Hobbes comics and food. Those are the rules of the world.

Categories: Holidays Tags: , ,

Let the hunting begin!

April 4, 2010 2 comments

So today is Easter Sunday. To some, it’s a joyous day to celebrate how Jesus Christ resurrected from the dead on the third day after his crucifixion. To others, it’s hunting creme-filled chocolate eggs supposedly left for them by an over-sized magic bunny. Or both. Judging from the way some people hunt for them you could say it’s like how they hunt for diet pills. But why bother with diet pills when you can have my offer?

Do you find yourself searching frantically for diet pills? Fear not, my good chum! I have just the thing for you. Behold the almighty magical weight loss egg!

Hundred bucks per batch. I believe this is the only thing worthy of your consideration.


I will tell you more, indeed, I will tell all! But let us not be vulgar and rush. As one who sweats profusely under certain conditions, like sitting quietly at room temperature, I have taken the liberty of trying these out myself. The results are astonishing! Mind-blowing! Seriously!

Just… hang on a minute… gotta catch my breath here.. and… mmm! Donut!

Ah, I see you are a viewer possessed of discerning skepticism. What’s that? Do I offer money back guarantee?

*SMACK!

Sorry. I instinctively backhanded you. Forgive me, for I am unable to refrain from thrashing out at ridiculous notions.

Really, there’s no need for refunds. It IS a “magical” egg, after all. I can assure you it works.. and it’s magically delicious! You’re probably wondering how it works. But don’t you know? Magicians never reveal the truth behind their magic tricks. I will tell you one thing though: after consumption you might break into a seizure and start foaming from the mouth… but go ahead and try anyway because maybe you won’t.

I see you are aware of my competitors:

They don’t even lay eggs. Why hunt for eggs from bunnies that need to prehunt the eggs?

My magical eggs come from this little bugger:

She’s a beauty. Look! There’s a picture of it on the internets! That means it must be real!

I accept cash or credit.

In a bunny costume,

Sarah Le

Categories: Holidays Tags: ,

Happy Chinese/Vietnamese New Year!

February 14, 2010 Leave a comment

Oh, and Valentines too.

I have exactly 4 minutes to post this before the day is over.
So here it is:
Xin Nian Kuai Le, 新年快乐!
Chuc Mung Nam Moi!

So what did I do today? Worked at the salon and spent the rest of the day at an old family friend’s place.

That’s it for today!