Home > Irony, Technology > The difference between checking out with a machine and a human

The difference between checking out with a machine and a human

So I was at Superstore with my sister an hour ago and bought a few things. By the time I was ready to pay the line ups were extremely long. That’s when I noticed those self checkout machines. No line up. At all. From afar they looked simple enough, so I went for it. But when I got closer it actually looked like this:

The machine was teasing me. Ladies and gentlemen, this marks the beginning of rising technology in which they eventually become humanity’s overlord. But more on that later. Promise.

I scanned the barcode on the item. Didn’t work. I tried again and stared at the screen. Nothing. I tried staring harder. I attempted to communicate with it, first using telepathy and then using screaming. To my surprise, the machine talked back. It said, “Please scan the item, then place it in the bag.” I pushed the “zero bags” option since 1) I didn’t need any and 2) it would cost 5 cents per bag. I’m Asian. But the little punk-machine kept saying –nay, demanding to “Put the stuff in the bag” and “Do as I say or I’ll kill you!” (OK, I made up the last one, but it’s bound to happen. amirite?!). I obeyed it. In the end it finally worked and I left without paying for the bag. Re-bel.

Next I went to Save On. This time I went to the cashier. The next series of events are what makes people > machine. The cashier asked me whether or not I had a save on card. Unfortunately I didn’t, so I couldn’t save money. Then a guy in the neighbouring aisle came over and offered his card. He gave it to the girl and saved me a couple bucks! That was very nice of him. Then I reached into my bag I noticed I didn’t have my wallet (it was in the car). She said I could come back and she’d save it but I was too lazy for that. I looked in my bag to see if I had enough random change. Unfortunately I didn’t. Can you say, “embarrassing?!” Then she told me not to worry and gave me the stuff anyway! That was very nice of her. A bit of faith in humanity has been restored.

Technology 0, Humanity 1!

Categories: Irony, Technology Tags:
  1. McLuvin'
    April 19, 2010 at 12:42 am

    Misappropriation of assets is the leading cause of corporate failures. Would you consider yourself liable for today’s slow economic recovery? Did your blatant victory over a mindless machine yield satisfaction of superiority? Such act of trickery is similar to stealing candy from a child and snickering as you walk away.
    I hope you can sleep tonight when the brain sucking apparatus of Superstore seek vengeance for the beaver engraved metal that you obtained. >=D

  2. itsame
    April 19, 2010 at 5:04 am

    This describes it all:

    “I pushed the “zero bags” option since 1) I didn’t need any and 2) it would cost 5 cents per bag. I’m Asian.” – LOL
    “Then I reached into my bag I noticed I didn’t have my wallet” – at first I thought the guy that gave you the save-on card robbed you, until I read the explanations in the bracket.

  3. April 19, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    McLuvin’ – Hey, I’ll gladly bask in my victory while I still can. It’s only a matter of time before we fall victim of technology.

    Ahh I’m not too worried about it. Should any machine come to collect their funds, I shall give them something better. Something meatier. Perhaps I’ll sacrifice a certain someone named John as a peace offering. They’d like that.

    itsame – Yeah, it was a big facepalm moment. I’d be surprised if he did because he wasn’t standing near me at all when he offered the card haha.

  4. itsame
    April 20, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Would that happen to be Mr. John Connor?

  5. April 20, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    Actually I was referring to my friend but yeah that works too!

  6. itsame
    April 21, 2010 at 3:06 am

    Technology is going to take over, take terminator for example.
    Those damn cyborgs, what are we going to do to stop them from taking over humanity?

  7. McLuvin'
    April 21, 2010 at 10:29 am

    Philodyssey heard of pedobear?

  8. itsame
    April 21, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    LOL @ pedobot

  9. April 21, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    itsame – It is inevitable, my friend. The Robocalypes will lead to the extinction of all humanity except me, for I will simply blend in with the robots. Ah, the years of wearing this trash can on my torso and metal cooking pot over my head is finally paying off.

    McLuvin’ – LOL great find.

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