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Monkey-Fish anyone?

Have you ever wondered what the great scientists are up to in between ground breaking research? I suspect it’s something along the lines of this:

Scientist 1: Hey.. what do you think would happen if I interbred a monkey and a jellyfish?
Scientist 2: I don’t know, you’d get a banana-peeling, shit-flinging, venom-tentacled, glow-in-the-dark monkey-fish?
Scientist 1: Dude.. Glowing monkeys would be AWESOME.
Scientist 2: 100 bucks says you can’t do it!
Scientist 1: 100 says I can!

Then they’d go on figuring out ways to endow a certain gene into monkeys that would make them glow while using an alibi saying they’re doing it to somehow help humanity. And here’s the most disturbing piece of information of all: not one word of that previous sentence is a lie.

And that's enough to have Curious George facepalming

There was an experiment where scientists inserted a jellyfish gene into a rhesus monkey so that it would glow. This was to test a gene-splicing technique on a primate close to humans so they can get a better idea of how it’d affect people. On the upside, this could help us develop immunity for certain diseases. The downside is that it’s considered unethical to many. Although it was a failure, there was one (sadly) stillborn monkey that had fluorescent green fingernails and hair. Perhaps they may have really gone somewhere with all this. But in the end we all know that, like us, they really only wanted to throw decadent and hilarious monkey raves.

Speaking of monkeys, not long ago scientists at the University of Washington successfully used an electrical circuit to give paralyzed monkeys the ability to move their arms. On one hand, this could lead to neuroprosthetics for humans with spinal cord injuries. But on the other hand… monkey cyborgs! Coming down from the hills! Monkeyborgs! Ruuuuuuun!

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