Home > A Letter To... > A Letter to “Mr. Fosser Brown”

A Letter to “Mr. Fosser Brown”

This is part of what I received in my email:
You have been awarded 750,000 Euros in the SWISS-LOTTO Satellite Software email lottery in which e-mail addresses are picked randomly by Software powered by the internet in the worldwide website.

Your email address was amongst those chosen this year for the SWISS-LOTTO Satellite lottery. Because this promotional program is proudly sponsored by the SWISS-LOTTO organization.

You can log on to our website for more information concerning our Entire lotto promo https://www.swisslotto.ch. Your email address, attached to Ref number 5, 7, 14, 17, 18, 43 with Serial number 1979-12 drew the lucky Numbers 10, and consequently won a lottery in the “A” Category.

Mr.fosser Brown
Email:swisslottoremitanceunit@yahoo.com.hk
Tel: +31-641-727-764
Thank you and I await your reply,”

It asked for my personal information as well.

Dear “Mr.fosser Brown”

Really? Is that it? It’s no surprise you have a flimsy grasp of grammar followed by awkward capitalizations. But I do have expectations.

I expect salesmanship. I expect effort. I expect more and better lying.

Before I go on, let me congratulate you on your apparent understanding of the laws of syntax, which led to your hysterically disastrous attempt to swindle me of thousands of dollars. I also recommend the immediate dismissal of any salesmanship education you’ve ever had because you’ve failed to make even a single selling statement in any part of your scam.

You gotta tell me a story, OK? Make me want to further invest in it by giving you my personal information, which eventually leads to my personal/credit info.

Let me help you out. You need to:
1) Distract me. You’ve got 20 seconds to shift my attention away from the preconceived notion of this being a scam because I’d’ve stored it in my STM upon hearing the first few words of your sentence. Depending on your success, I can either forget that whole idea thus fall for your trick or my initial thought would be supported and transferred to LTM, where you would be forever rendered a waste of my time.

2) Bring me into your highly fictitious world. You’re not the only one after my money, so tell me a highly dubious, yet remotely plausible story that’d peak my interest. George, the last guy who tried scamming me over the phone, said I won a 14-day, 14-night trip to Costa Rica for only 99 dollars! Usually I hang up, but this time I wanted to see what kind of story he’d tell me.

3) Paint me a picture. George had me drawing shapes. Shapes! I kid you not, when I questioned the legitimacy of his offer, his way of verification was for me to draw squares and circles on some paper. I understand you’re limited to such actions, this being an email and all, so maybe attach a chain letter saying eternal flames of cyber damnation will consume me.

Now get out there and scam me like you mean it.

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