Home > A Letter To... > A Letter to Dog Owners

A Letter to Dog Owners

Dear you,

I’m worried about you – not the specific “you” who is reading this, for clearly you are a discerning individual of awe-inspiring refinement, intimidating intellect and, self-evidently, cute curiosity that led you to this blog. I’m worried about the collective “you,” the billions who comprise the human species.

What worries me is neither your inaction on climate change nor your proclivity for war, nor your proneness to spreading viruses, nor your peculiar fondness for the internet lingo (GG PWNED EPIC FAIL FOR TEH LULZ!).
None of that worries me. What worries me is this: you are making cell phones for dogs.
For dogs! *Facepalm

So, why would you need to phone your dog? Maybe with this built-in GPS system, you can tell him how you know he’s at Suzy’s house, canoodling with her dog, and if he doesn’t come home now, serious consequences await his return. At which point he may respond with a series of barks, reminding you that this device alone cost you hundreds of dollars, not to mention monthly service fees -And that you’re mentally deficient for purchasing it in the first place. Woof.

I came across that link somehow while looking for a pet dog. I’d like a husky, but my backyard forbids it because it’s not big enough. They need lots of freedom. Too bad, I found a really nice wolf-husky hybrid too. Oh well, hopefully I’ll find a shiba inu.

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